Family Values

Another Right Wing Republican has been caught with his pants down with another man. Its getting to be old news. And yes, this guy was another hypocrite who has been blaming the homosexuals for everything wrong with America.

The guy's name is Troy King. He is Alabama's Attorney General and many thought he was a likely front-runner for governor in 2010. When I first heard the name I assumed he grew up on Troy Street and his first dog's name was King. Or vice versa. Or however it is you figure out someone's porn name.

The sordid details can be found at a variety of sites reporting the news:

http://www.bradblog.com/?p=6175
http://www.opednews.com/articles/McCain-Scrubs-Troy-King-fr-by-David-Caputo-080714-645.html
http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=glbt&sc2=news&sc3=&id=77366

The basic story is that Troy King's wife came home and caught him in flagrante delicto in their marital bed with a young man, apparently an aide. King has been quoted as saying homosexuality is the "downfall of society". He has worked tirelessly to outlaw sex toys. Apparently "male aides" are not "sex toys". King was head of McCain's leadership committee in Alabama, and suddenly all references to King have been wiped clean from the McCain campaign's website.

If the bare bones of the story sound familiar its probably because we get this story so regularly, only the names change: Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Jim West, and the granddaddy of all of them, Roy Cohn.

Meanwhile Martin and I just returned from the Rainbow Families-Great Lakes (RFGL) Family Week.

Eighty Families come together to play and learn. Most important, the kids have a chance to just have fun with other families that look like theirs. Kids of gay parents learn early that its OK to be different, and that families come in all shapes and sizes. Being different can be both a blessing and a curse, and it is pretty special to these families to have a week without the stress of adapting to society's norms.

These families have often had to live a part of their family life in the closet: in order to get an adoption authorized, or to get custody of a child, or get decent housing, or get a school to help their children. The satisfaction of their family life is in direct proportion to how openly they can lead their lives.

For one week these families can truly live a family life out of the closet.

It is a joy to behold.

Like most gay folk I lived a period of my life in the closet. And like most gay folk I would do all sorts of things to deny what I knew to be true about myself.

And it was miserable.

It almost makes me feel sorry for right-wing closet cases. Almost. However in many cases these folks denial of their sexuality is literally killing people. Because they have more power than the average gay-guy-in-the-closet they can kill AIDS education programs, prevent needle exchange programs, create roadblocks for safe-school programs, outlaw second-parent adoptions, and generally screw up parental rights. Their political actions give bullies power in the schools and comfort perpetrators of hate crimes.

Perhaps we need to start a special camp for closeted right wing nut cases. I envision seminars on "dealing with your inner demons", and "finding appropriate sex partners", and the most important one, "Coming Out 101".

Good Luck, Troy.

Independence Day Musings

July 4th 1981 was my “Coming Out Day”. As it turns out the actual date was rather arbitrary. I had been coming out to friends for several months, and it would be years until I came out to my parents.

But I was ready to come out to most of my world, and it seemed like an appropriate date. Just the NAME of the holiday seemed right…Independence Day.

Coming out was indeed liberating.

Even more important to me was the association of the day to Thomas Jefferson. No, he was not gay. I wish. This was the day of the publication of the Declaration of Independence, largely created by TJ. There were a lot of philosophers at the time writing about human rights and democracy. The rallying cry in France was “Life, Liberty, and Equality".

But TJ made a subtle but important change in the rallying cry, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”.

That small change changes everything.

You can argue all day about homosexuality being nature or nurture. Our founding document does not care. Whether you were born gay, became gay, or, yes, even “chose to be gay”, the only way you will be happy is to be able to express yourself. And Thomas Jefferson says that I have that INALIENABLE RIGHT.

Take that you conservative pundits.

I would like to claim Jefferson as part of my liberal beliefs. And when I was a young radical in the 60’s I claimed him as part of my heritage. And my conservative-leaning father claimed him as part of his political heritage. And folks MUCH more conservative than my dad point to his State’s Rights views to justify some very conservative views. In fact earlier today GWB invoked Jefferson to justify “the spread of democracy” to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Part of Jefferson’s genius was that he often wrote about big universal ideas. If the ideas are big enough, a wide variety of folks can claim them. This incredibly diverse country has suffered and thrived from the ambiguity of our founders.

On the surface I am so-o-o-o sure I am right in all of my opinions. When I dig deeper I have come to believe that there is strength in ambiguity.

Kurt Vonnegut commented once on the strange eye-on-the-pyramid on our money, and mottos in Latin even though it is a dead language, and a National Anthem that is near gibberish, sprinkled with commas and question marks. He said, “It is as if a nation were saying to its people, ‘In Nonsense is Strength’”.

I long for the day that queer folk are legally afforded life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In the meantime I fear the forces that have given us DOMA, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and a legion of state constitutional amendments that legalize homophobia and discrimination. In that climate I embrace the ambiguity of Jefferson, and the absurdism of Vonnegut.

Happy Fourth of July...now go pursue some Happiness!

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Sandi Smith, First Ward

I am happy to endorse Sandi Smith, Democrat, for First Ward in Ann Arbor City Council.

One of the joys of the internet is that I can write, and people around the globe can read what I write. (I know I have one reader in Geneva). It would appear from the first sentence that I am ignoring that potential global audience and only writing for a very local audience.

Yes.

And No.

The actual endorsement is indeed to encourage First Warders to vote for Sandi, and that is a very local action. However, there is a bit of history that might make interesting reading for all.


A Bit of History

In 1972 Ann Arbor elected Nancy Wechsler to the City Council. She was a member of the Human Rights Party (HRP). While a member of the Ann Arbor City Council Nancy came out, becoming the first out lesbian elected official in the history of the United States.

In 1974 she declined to run for reelection. Kathy Kozachenko ran for her seat, and won, becoming the first openly gay candidate to successfully win an election in the United States.

Think on that! Ann Arbor holds two significant firsts in the history of LGBT politics.

We have not had an out lesbian on the City Council since then. We have had one openly gay man, Chris Kolb. That’s rather sad commentary after having achieved such a significant “First” so many years ago.


The Current State of LGBT Politics

There are many organizations that support LGBT, as well as LGBT-friendly candidates, but as far as I know there is only one organization out there whose sole function is electing out LGBT candidates, The Victory Fund. The Victory Fund has a priority of electing officials in “Horizon States”. A Horizon State is a state with no openly LGBT officeholder. Amazingly there are still several.

Electing openly gay candidates just because they are gay remains an important goal in many places. Meanwhile an important evolution is happening. There are openly LGBT candidates running throughout the country whose reason for running and whose platform are only peripherally related to the fact that they are gay or lesbian. Certainly their sexual orientation informs their politics. However, they are not single-issue candidates. They are running to serve a multitude of communities: geographic, demographic, economic, ethnic, etc.

We do not yet live in a post-gay world. In Michigan we live under the hateful Constitutional Amendment enacted by Proposition 2 in 2004. Yet in Ann Arbor we have laws that protect sexual orientation as well as gender identity. While we may have to yet win some hearts and minds in our town, our battles with City Hall are minimal. We have lawmakers and public servants who truly want to protect and serve all of the citizenry. As Sandi said to me in one of early discussions about the possibility of running, “If Ann Arbor’s statutes need some tweaking, I am sure Jim Toy will tell me about it and we will get it changed”. In other words, she is happy to advance LGBT causes, but recognizes that in this town and at this time there are not major battles we need to fight. And even more important, she knows who to talk to when she needs advice on LGBT political issues.


Endorsement

I am always thrilled to advance LGBT rights and LGBT political power. For that reason alone I would consider an endorsement of Sandi.

And yet, I endorse Sandi not because she is a lesbian. She is very open about her sexual orientation. She and her partner, Linda Lombardini, own a business together and are an integral part of the city’s LGBT Community. She is running, however, on her solid progressive values and her history of accomplishments.

Sandi’s campaign stresses sustainability, both economically and environmentally. While a member of the Downtown Development Authority (DDA), and as chair of that organization, she supported a variety of progressive initiatives, including installation of bicycle lockers and bicycle hoops, construction of pedestrian friendly sidewalks, funding for several non-motorized transportation studies, getDowntown program, go!passes, The Link, and more.

She supported Art in Public Places, historic preservation, the Farmer’s Market renovation, and soon, thanks to Sandi, we will see Recycling Containers next to trash containers throughout downtown.

Sandi has served on boards and volunteered for organizations as diverse as the Washtenaw Rainbow Action Project (WRAP), the Ann Arbor Board of Realtors, the Greenway Taskforce, FestiFools, websiteTask Force on Sustainable Revenue for Affordable Housing, and more.

In short, Sandi has progressive values, a belief in a better Ann Arbor, and a history of accomplishment. Others may talk about what they WANT to do. Sandi has a history of “Getting It Done”. She has gotten it done as a businesswoman in the First Ward, as an active citizen, as a member of the DDA, and as a member of the LGBT community. These are challenging times in Michigan and in Ann Arbor. We need someone with a proven record representing us on City Council.

Gay Days 2008

I suspect that this blog entry may largely interest Disney-philes. As I explained in the “Gay Days at Disney” entry, I have not always been a Disney-phile. I used to be a Disney-phobe because Uncle Walt was a homo-phobe.

But all that has changed. We have just returned from another fun-filled and queer-filled weekend at Disney's Gay Days.

The week is filled with circuit parties, pool parties, business expos, dances, films, support groups, and more. However, our involvement has always been rather basic. This year it was more than enough to do the Gay Days Theme Park Rotation:

• Thursday – Animal Kingdom
• Friday – Hollywood Studios
• Saturday – The Magic Kingdom (the BIG DAY)
• Sunday – EPCOT

Random Thoughts and Memories of Gay Days 2008:

• The idea of Gay Day is that we are in the majority on Saturday in the Magic Kingdom, and we prove the point by wearing red. So what is up with the queer folk who show up without a red shirt?
  

• I was blessed with Good Bus Karma this weekend. It seemed every time I wanted a bus, monorail, train, or boat it showed up in less than five minutes.
  

• We were picking up fast passes for Space Mountain. Martin got his. Mine did not print out. So a Cast Member (Disney Employee) came over, banged his fist on the Fast Pass Machine, and eight printed out. In response to my compliments on his technical prowess he said, “We are trained in the magical arts”. We proceeded to gain more Good Karma by coming back at our Fast Pass Time, and handing out all those extra Fast Passes good for that moment. Folks were elated. Queers not in red shirts were not eligible.
  

• We learned about the “Disney Point”. Disney Cast Members never point with a single finger. There are two theories behind this. The theory Cast Members are told is that in certain cultures pointing is offensive, and you are likely to point AT someone unintentionally when you are giving directions or bringing something to a customer’s attention. Therefore you GESTURE with two fingers or your entire hand…never with a single finger. Notice that flight attendants and other public customer service folks have picked up on the “Disney Point”.
  

The OTHER theory is based on this bit of trivia. Walt Disney was a heavy smoker. All photos of him in Disney control have been altered to airbrush out the cigarettes (though amusingly the smoke and shadows often remain). So there are many photos of Disney with two fingers extended. The theory goes that all Cast Members must use the Disney Point to rationalize the odd photos of Uncle Walt. While the airbrushing story is true, I have found nothing to corroborate this as the origin of the Disney Point.

• The 1:00 p.m. performance of the Country Bear Jamboree was attended by over 1000 Bears (requiring 3-4 performances). As always it was one of the highlights of the day.
  

• Disney has renamed the MGM Theme Park as Hollywood Studios. This is in keeping with a greater emphasis on Pixar throughout all of Disney. The newest attraction is Toy Story Mania, and it is truly awesome. A 3-D Midway Games with the gang from Toy Story. Zowie. (Little Green Army Men, “Break Those Plates! I Am Not Your Mother! Break Those Plates”.

• Disney employees love Gay Days. And not just the queer Cast Members. The straight folks seem to love joining in the fun. Many of them request to work Gay Days. One (straight) woman has worked the Bear Run at the Country Bear Jamboree for four years now. And she is having almost as much fun as the rest of us.

• Pin Trading at Disney is a fairly recent craze. People collect Disney Pins based on favorite characters, or movies, or parks. For the last three years they have produced special rainbow pins. This year's were fun pins with "Bobble Feet" of Rainbow Mickey, Rainbow Minnie, and for the first time, Rainbow Donald. Check them out: http://www.dizpins.com/monthly_releases/2008/dl_may2008.htm (The rainbow pins are all the way to the bottom of the page on this link).
  

• Best Meal of the weekend: Toss-up between our first time at Les Chefs de France in Epcot right after our arrival and a repeat visit to Narcoossee’s on Saturday, watching the Magic Kingdom Fireworks from across the Seven Seas Lagoon. Honorable Mention always goes to the campy (but very tasty) Prime Time Diner at Hollywood Studios.

Overheard comment from a man (in red) in a wheelchair, and a person who appeared to be his partner, “All those years in the closet. I think this is the happiest I have ever been”. Truly Disney World is the “Happiest Place On Earth” for this fellow on this particular Gay Day.

Michigan Smoking Ban Follow-up

“I blog therefore I am.”
Would Rene Descarte say that today?

“I came, I blogged, I conquered.”
Would Caesar say that today?

I wonder these things in the context of wondering why I (or anyone else) blogs. There are, I am sure, a myriad of reasons: to make a difference, to make people think, to change someone’s mind, to inform people, to entertain readers.

But no matter what the reason, bloggers want to be read. We know we are being read from various statistics packages that tell us about unique visitors, length of time a visitor spends on the blog, country of the visitor, and more.

But nothing confirms readership more than feedback. I have received more feedback on my entry about the State of Michigan smoking ban than any other subject. I’ve gotten email, phone calls, and many folks have stopped me in the \aut\ BAR to talk about it.

The biggest question is, “What is happening with the ban?”

An excellent question! There had been a lot of activity in Lansing and a lot of media coverage. Suddenly about two weeks ago it all fell silent. News searches turn up nothing and there has been no activity in either the House or Senate. So I went to one of my best Lansing sources, House Representative Rebekah Warren. Our friendship with Rebekah was forged by fire. During the Proposition 2 fight of 2004 Rebekah did more to try and defeat that hate-inspired amendment than any straight person in the State of Michigan.

I called her office this afternoon expecting to get information from a staffer. Lo and behold the afternoon House session had ended early and I had a chance to have a long discussion with Rebekah on the subject. Here’s what I learned:


Details have stalled the bill

If you read news reports this is not news, but here is a recap. The Democratic-controlled House passed a smoking ban that exempted several categories of businesses (casinos, cigar bars, bingo halls, and a few others). The Republican-controlled Senate passed a version with NO exemptions. For a bill to become law both chambers have to pass identical versions. Several democratic house members are worried about passing a ban without an exemption for casinos. The casinos are major employers in their districts, and are lobbying against the ban. As of now the House does not have the votes to pass the bill without the exemptions, and the Senate does not have the votes to pass it with the exemptions. The current status is a stalemate.

In about two weeks the Legislature will recess, and members will go into full election mode. In other words, if a compromise is not reached and passed in the next two weeks it is unlikely that anything will happen again until the end of the year at the earliest.


Behind the scenes negotiations are taking place

House Majority Leader Andy Dillon and Senate Majority Leader Mike Bishop are talking. They are also being lobbied hard. In fact, Rebekah tells me that of all the issues the House has tackled since she took office no issue has generated as much response from her constituents as the smoking ban. In her case she has received overwhelming support for the ban.


Action you can take

Of course you can always contact your State Representative or Senator, but frankly the power is in the hands of a few right now. The most important are the leaders of the two chambers. Drop these guys a letter, email, or call their office and tell them this is too important to let die over minor differences. Ask them to find a workable compromise and pass the ban.

Andy Dillon
Speaker of the House
District 17
andydillon@house.mi.gov
Ph: 517.373.0857
Room 166 Capitol Building

Senator Mike Bishop
Senate Majority Leader
P.O. Box 30036
Lansing, MI 48909-7536
(517) 373-2417
(517) 373-2694 – FAX
To email him you have to follow this link to the Senate Contact Page: http://www.senate.michigan.gov/ima_form.asp?name=COMMENT12&form_path=c:/webforms/rep

The stumbling blocks in the house are the Detroit area Democrats. If you visit casinos, or like to visit them, let your state representative, or a Detroit state representative know that you would visit, or visit more often if the casinos were smoke-free.


That’s the summary from Representative Rebekah Warren. Drop HER a line at rebekahwarren@house.mi.gov and thank her for being the best friend the gay community has in the State House right now.

Gay Days at Disney

We are on our way to our seventh year attending the big party for Queer Mouseketeers. We return every year because Gay Days has so many elements that make for a perfect vacation:

Queer Friendly

There is a reason that GLBT folk like to travel to places that have a lot of us. Coming out is stressful. We have to do it over and over. It gets easier with repetition. That first time telling a friend that you like boys is one of the hardest things any of us ever do. And then informing the parental units! And a little piece of that stress is with us every time we are introduced to someone new and we let them know that "No I am not married. I've been with the same man for 22 years, but we are not allowed to be married".

Why go through that on vacation? When we check in to a gay guesthouse in Key West no one stops to consider our sexual orientation.

Disney is pretty-much queer friendly anytime of the year. I have heard that 30% of Disney World Employees are gay. Not a surprise. They are one of the biggest employers of musicians, entertainers, and service industry employees in the country. And if there are any careers that scream queer they would probably be musicians, entertainers, and the service industry.

Warm

Okay, not such a big deal the first weekend in June as we finally get a taste of summer in Michigan. But after such a long winter I welcome the thought of near-sweltering weather.

Escapist

In my younger years my escapist vacations were trips to the far North Country. Bush pilots (no not THAT Bush) in northern Canada would fly us hundreds of miles away from civilization, and we would paddle our way out. They were great trips. Alas, I am in no shape to try such a trip again, and probably would not be able to arrange enough time off to do so in any case.

In lieu of that, how much more escapist can you get than to spend a part of your day in Muppetvision 3-D or going to Infinity and Beyond to help Buzz Lightyear defeat the evil Zurg? Or going inside a Twilight Zone episode then being dropped 13 floors by a possessed elevator?

How about spending 15-20 minutes with animatronic bears doing a "Country Bear Jamboree" in Grand Ole Opry fashion. If that's not enough, see the show at 1:00 p.m. on Gay Day at the Magic Kingdom when all the Bears (yes, those bears) gather to watch the production. Oh my. It is a hoot and a holler, and one of the most fun things you could ever imagine.

Empowering

Gay Days started seventeen years ago on the whim of some friends. It has grown into a week-long event that is attended by over 100,000 GLBTQ folk and our allies. There are circuit parties and business expos, drag shows and leather contests, Pool Parties and Comedy shows, Film Festivals and Beer Busts. All this and more.

But at the heart of it all remains Gay Day at the Magic Kingdom. It is always the first Saturday in June. Thousands of the entire diversity of the queer community attend. There are gay and lesbian parents with their kids, circuit boyz a bit hungover or strung out from the night before, every gender expression imaginable, bears and twinks, femmes and butches. Singles, couples, and truples.

And we are all there for one reason.

Have fun at the park.

And it is so much more fun when you get to be the majority. And we get to SEE that we are the majority because everyone wears red. The sea of red over the land of the Mouse is a sight to behold.

But here is the best thing. It was not always like this. Disney used to be the evil empire. Gays were banished from the magic Kingdom by edict of Uncle Walt himself. It did not fit with his ideas of "family". I think the change started within minutes of Walt's death. The company was an entertainment behemoth, and therefore had more queers in it than a production of Chorus Line. Once the cult Father Figure (or in this case Uncle Figure) was out of the picture Disney went from oppressor to friend remarkably quickly.

A trip to Gay Days is a celebration of who we are and the change that can happen in our society. It is also a chance to take a picture of your partner with a triceratops.

Gender-Bending Musical in the Upper Peninsula

Our niece is graduating from High School. The call came from the family matriarch to appear for the graduation. The gay uncles found out the niece is appearing in "High School Musical" the weekend before graduation. The gay uncles said they'd rather see the musical than the graduation. All parties were fine by that decision. Reminds me of the "Gay? Fine By Me" t-shirts. So her two gay uncles packed up the car and the dog and headed out for the weekend.

Sounds pleasant. The downside is the brother teaches at Michigan Tech. The drive is at least ten hours from Ann Arbor (in southeast Michigan) to Hancock, MI. Hancock is located on the Keewenaw Peninsula of the Upper Peninsula. The Keewenaw is the bit of land that juts into Lake Superior. You would need a boat to go further north.

The trip is 540 miles entirely within Michigan. To put that in perspective, a trip to Washington, DC would take us through Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and the District of Columbia...and it is ten miles shorter.

Our friend Mike loaned us a Garmin for the trip. Garmin is a GPS system. It works remarkably well. It has me worried. I believe my main function in our relationship is getting us from one place to another. Garmin does this better than me, and does a multimedia presentation as well. How can I compete with that?

Garmin was flawless until we reached our final destination. It kept trying to send us to a non-existent road. We found out later the road used to exist. We are all too familiar with this phenomonen. The Ann Arbor Homoplex (\aut\ BAR, Common Language, Washtenaw Rainbow Action Project, and SH\aut\ Cabaret and Gallery) is located on Braun Court. Every online and satellite map believes Braun Court is a real street that can handle traffic, and that it goes from Fourth Avenue to Main Street. It does not. Braun Court stops at an alley halfway to Main Street. We get calls on a regular basis from people cruising up and down Main Street looking to turn on to Braun Court.

At last we find our hotel and head out to the highlight of the weekend. Our niece is appearing in a production of "High School Musical".

A little background.

Being a Disney nut, I have certainly heard of High School Musical. Zac Efron and the show are almost as big as Hannah Montana right now. But I really knew nothing about the show. I was in a car with a few Theater nuts about a week ago and asked them about the show.

Nut #1: "Wild Dogs could not drag me to that show"

Nut #2: "Its like Grease without the music, lyrics, choreography or story"

I explained I was heading to the Upper Peninsula to see my niece in one of the featured male roles in the show. "That", they both agreed, "would be worth seeing".

So off we went to see the Copper Country Intermediate School District, All-School Gender-bending production of High School Musical.

What can I say about the production? The main reason our niece was playing a male role was lack of male talent, not because the director was trying to make a statement about gender. She is athletic (National Junior Olympics), deep voice, tall, sinewy, and musically talented. And she was fabulous (of course). There were several other strong performances. There were also several budding homosexuals who 'sold' their roles, regardless of their talent. And finally, there were a bunch of kids who did not know they were supposed to play to the audience and could barely carry a tune.

In other words, it was like thousands of other high school productions. So much for the northwoods gender-bending high school musical.

Searching for any signs of gay or queer culture is difficult in the Upper Peninsula. The only gay bar is a (very straight) bar called "The Gay Bar" in the village of Gay, MI. For gay culture we had to settle for a couple of great antique stores. From the safety of Ann Arbor it is easy to forget how far the gay civil rights movements has to go.

But even more dispiriting than the lack of gay culture was that on our drive home we drove through snow between L'Anse, MI and Marquette, MI. This should not be happening in late May.